


Can't Get My Head Around You

by TheIttyBitty



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Chubby Dean, M/M, Nerd Dean, Punk Castiel, Tattoos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-23
Updated: 2015-02-28
Packaged: 2018-03-14 17:05:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 15,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3418676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheIttyBitty/pseuds/TheIttyBitty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Jo tries to date Castiel Collins for a bet, but he seems more interested in her surrogate brother, Dean.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

It starts with a bruised ego; Jo's, in fact. Because Darren Wendell was supposed to call her last night, but he didn't, and now Ruby McCaw says she just saw Darren and Eliza Couts making out in Mrs. Deruth's empty science classroom. It hurts, she'd _liked_ Darren. He was funny and nice (she'd thought) and drove a shiny blue pickup that matched his eyes perfectly. And she'd _thought_ he was interested. He'd said he'd call her. But he didn't. 

  
There's the tiny start of a smirk at the edge of Ruby's lips, and so Jo tosses her hair and pretends not to be bothered.

  
"Whatever." She says, rolling her eyes. "It's his loss. I can get any guy I want, anyway. Darren's like a three." He's not, he's at least a seven, but the sting of betrayal shifts him down a few notches.

  
Jo doesn't notice the glimmer in Ruby's eye at her words, or the way her lips go ahead and slide into that smirk. "Any guy?" She says smoothly.

  
"Yep." Jo says, picking a bit of dirt from under her nail.  "Darren can eat a dick."  
Her friend Myra nods in agreement, blond braids bouncing on her shoulders, but Ruby just hums thoughtfully. 

  
"I don't know," she says, "maybe you're slipping."

  
Jo jerks her head up, offended. "I am _not_ slipping!" She spits.

  
"Really?" Ruby challenges. "When was the last time you hooked up? A week ago? Two? A month?"

  
"I've been busy." Jo tries to explain. 

  
Ruby holds up a finger. "Excuses." She says. "You. Are. Slipping."

  
Anger builds in Jo's chest, coiling like a snake. "No. I'm. Not." She growls, clenching her fists.

  
"Okay." Ruby says sweetly, holding up her hands in front of her. "Prove it."

  
Jo blinks. "What?"

  
"Prove it. I'm going to name a guy and you're going to date him. _If_ you can do it we'll know you've still got it. If not, well, I just don't know."

  
Jo knows, though, she's seen it happen. They'll stop talking to her, stop sitting near her in class, they'll make her sit at a different table at lunch. It's fucked up, she knows. She really does. Ruby's group or... clique... gang, even, is rigid with strange rules. They're harsh, sometimes cruel, mean. If you show up to school looking less than perfect, if you mess up, if you start to slip... well, Ruby doesn't have time for those types of people. Ruby herself is what's often described as a "Grade A Bitch". She's callous, mean, vindictive, scheming, manipulative. She delights in the misery of others, loves having people jump through her hoops. But... she's beautiful, and she's smart. People do all sorts of things for her, just to earn a smile, a gentle touch, a kiss from her soft lips. Jo herself has been entranced with those lips from the first, full and red. She'd do anything, anything at all, just to feel them against her own.

  
Even more than that, she needs this group. _Needs_ them. Sure, sometimes they're awful, but they just keep going. Barreling forward, always moving, and that's what Jo needs. She needs to move forward, she needs to keep going, because if she looks backward she doesn't know what might happen and she's not going to risk it. 

  
So, with only a moment's hesitation, she says, "Fine."

  
Ruby's smirk spreads into a full-on grin. "Good." She says. "Because I have a boy in mind already."

  
"Who?" Jo wonders, unable to keep the anxious edge from her voice.

  
"Castiel Collins." Ruby says happily.

  
Jo gapes. "You _cannot_ be serious!" 

  
Ruby shrugs. "Take it or leave it." She says.

  
"How long?" Jo asks.

  
"A month."

  
"A _month_?!" Jo wails. "There's no way I can date that weirdo for a month!"

  
Ruby shrugs again, picking invisible dirt from under her glimmering red nails. "If you don't think you can handle it..."

  
Jo swallows. She has to get back in Ruby's good graces, she _has_ to. She's not even totally sure how she got out of them, but now she needs back in, bad.  
"No, no! I-I can do it."

  
Ruby smiles, white teeth gleaming in the light. "Super."

 

 

Jo catches Castiel Collins after school as he walks down Virginia Street. He always walks, no matter the weather. Apparently his house isn't very far, but Jo doesn't know where it actually is. She lives on Beakke, so she doesn't live far either. Normally she catches a ride with Myra anyway, but today she needs to talk to Castiel. She has to run to catch up with him, he has a head start, and she nearly falls and breaks her neck about a dozen times because Ruby insists the group all wear heels and they are not suited for running. When she finally catches him she's out of breath, sweat is matting her hair and sticking her blouse to her skin.

  
"Wait! Wait!" She gasps, reaching out to grasp the boy's elbow. He finally stops, but she has to double over to catch her breath as he turns.

  
"What?" He wonders sharply.

  
Jo holds up one finger, signaling him to wait while she catches her breath. It takes her almost a full minute, and when she finally stands back up he has his arms crossed over his chest, an irritated frown plays on his face. 

  
Jo almost winces, it's been a while since she's seen Castiel Collins up close. She tries to avoid looking straight at him whenever possible. God, she'll have to kiss him, she realizes. Maybe more. Suddenly she kind of wants to gag.  
Castiel Collins is average height, with hair that constantly sticks in every direction no matter what. He probably would be a pretty good looking guy if it weren't for... everything else. He's got tattoos running up his arms and shoulders, and Jo has heard that he has a lot more on the rest of him. He has three silver rings in his right eyebrow, and one in his left. He's got a hoop in his septum and a piercing just below his bottom lip on either side of his mouth, Jo thinks those are called snakebites or something. He's also got earrings all down the lobe of his right ear, and none at all in the left. In the middle of his tongue sits a neon green ball and, although Jo _has_ heard that those feel really good when a guy goes down, there's no way she's letting it near her. He has on dark jeans, black boots, and a shirt for some band or other that Jo doesn't care about.

  
She pushes the slightly nauseated feelings down and plasters a smile onto her face. "Hi." She says sweetly.

  
Castiel raises a pierced eyebrow. "Hi." He says, unimpressed.

  
Jo mentally kicks herself, she looks like shit right now. To make matters worse, she's wearing a skirt and now her thighs are starting to sweat. She knows that by the time she gets home they'll be sticking together and chaffing uncomfortably because no matter how thin she gets she can't seem to get rid of that last bit of stubborn thigh fat.

  
"I'm Jo." She says.

  
"Okay." Says Castiel.

  
Shit. Normally Jo is better at this, so much better, but today has really thrown her. She's feeling raw and exposed and she does _not_ feel like playing this whole game right now, especially not with Castiel Collins. So she takes a deep breath and chooses the direct approach.

"Are you doing anything this weekend?" She asks.

  
Castiel says nothing, just stares at her with those creepy blue eyes.

  
She continues. "Because I was going to go see a movie and I was wondering if you wanted to go with me."

  
Castiel squints. "Your last name is Harvelle, right?"

  
Jo puts her hands on her hips. "That's right."

  
"You live with the Winchesters?"

  
Jo falters for a moment, confused that Castiel knows anything about her family, but then says, "Yeah."

  
Castiel squints at her for a long moment. "We can watch a movie at your house." He says finally. "I'll text you."

  
Then he turns on his heel and walks away.

  
"Wait!" Jo calls, after the moment it takes her to realize that he'd just _walked away_. "You don't have my... number." But he's already gone.

  
_Damn_ , Jo thinks, _Maybe I_ am _slipping._

  
She's incredibly surprised when, Friday night, she gets a text from a strange number that just says:

**[When do you want me to come over?]**

 

-o-

 

Dean is worried about Jo. Well, he's always worried about Jo. That's a lot of what he does, anymore. She came to live with the Winchesters five years ago, when she and Dean were both twelve. She's not _actually_ related to them by blood, but she might as well be. Her parents and Dean's had apparently been friends since forever, they show up in Dean's earliest memories. And then, there was the wreck. In the space of moments, Jo's parents were gone, dead, and she came to live with the Winchesters.

  
She and Dean get along well, or at least they used to. Lately, Jo has fallen in with what Dean thinks of as a bad crowd. 

  
Ruby is not a good person, Dean knows. Really, none of the girls in her "group" or whatever she calls it are people Dean would trust, but somehow Jo has become a part of it. She's become mean and strange, a shadow of who she used to be. Lately she's been growing thinner and thinner, unhealthily fast, and Dean worries that she might have developed an eating disorder. When he tries to talk with her about it, though, she brushes him off or calls him names.  
She doesn't do relationships, either, she hooks up and she moves on. And, while Dean knows that that's her own business, it still worries him. So when Jo announces on Friday that a boy is coming over to watch a movie, Dean is pleasantly surprised. Jo doesn't bring people home. They bring her briefly to their homes, but she doesn't bring any to the Winchester house. Oddly, she doesn't seem happy about it, though. She seems... resigned.

  
John and Mary, who are going to be out to dinner with friends, task Dean and Sam with watching Jo and the boy to make sure they don't get up to anything they shouldn't.

  
Dean pulls on jeans and a Star Wars t-shirt, frowning at the way it's tight around the belly. He pinches his fat meanly, willing it to go away, but it stays put. He sighs deeply, heart somewhere low in his stomach the way it always is when he looks at himself. His cheeks are too chubby, thighs are too big, his stomach swells gently out at the top of his jeans. Fat. Fat fat fat. Gross and fat. He swallows thickly and closes his eyes before turning quickly away from the mirror.

  
When the knock comes at six thirty Sam is in his room playing video games, and when Jo goes to swing open the door, the last person Dean expects to see step over the threshold is Castiel Collins. But, lo and behold, it's Castiel Collins. He's as beautiful as ever, messy dark hair, sea blue eyes, piercings everywhere. And the tattoos, _god_ the tattoos. Dean isn't sure at what point he developed a tattoo kink, but he _really_ wants to see the ones on the rest of Castiel's body, wants to run his fingers over them, wants to taste them. But, Dean wonders, what the hell is _Jo_ doing with him? He's not her type at all. She goes for big, conventionally handsome guys with thick arms and square jaws. He has heard her say a lot of nasty stuff about people with piercings and tattoos, this doesn't make sense at all.

  
"Castiel!" Jo simpers. "You made it!" She reaches out to trail her hand down her arm, but he ignores her uninterestedly. His gaze flicks around until it lands on Dean, who is sitting at the kitchen island working on his chemistry homework. He pulls away from Jo, who looks mildly offended, and walks toward Dean.

  
"You're Dean, right?" He wonders, holding out his hand.

  
"Um, yeah." Dean says, taking Castiel's hand and giving it a firm shake. He's astounded that Castiel knows his name. Jo probably told him, he figures. "You're Castiel."

  
Castiel nods once, a small smile appears on his lips. "You can just call me "Cas"", he tells Dean.

  
Dean swallows dryly. "Okay." He says. Finally pulling his hand away from Cas' own, softer one. 

  
"You gonna watch a movie with us?" Castiel asks.

  
"Um, no." Dean replies, remembering suddenly that Castiel is here for Jo. "I won't bother you guys."

  
Castiel shakes his head. "It's not a bother. C'mon, watch a movie with us!"

  
"Okay..."Dean says, confused. He follows the two of them into the living room and sits down on the end of the couch, Castiel immediately sits down next to him, very close.

  
“What do you want to watch?” Castiel asks, and Dean starts when he realizes that the other boy is looking at him, asking him. Because, why? Why is he asking Dean, when Jo is sitting on his other side looking frustrated?

  
“Oh, I don't care.” Dean says, hoping to smooth the angry lines out of Jo's expression. Castiel, though, pushes on.

  
“How 'bout Star Wars?” He asks. “You like Star Wars, right?”

  
“Oh, uh, yes.” Dean says. “How did you know?”

  
Castiel grins and flicks his eyes to Dean's chest. Dean smacks himself on the forehead, feeling heat flood his face. “I'm wearing a Star Wars shirt. I'm such a dumb-ass.”

  
Castiel laughs. “Naw, you're cool. I forget what I'm wearing sometimes too.”  
Behind him, Jo snorts.

  
Castiel turns back to her, slowly. “Something funny?” He wonders.

  
Jo's expression slides back to a carefully-practiced neutral. She shrugs. “You're just so... unique. I can't imagine ever forgetting putting on... that shirt.”

  
Castiel looks down at his shirt, which sports a depiction of a blood-soaked man giving the finger. When he looks back up at Jo, his expression is cold. He doesn’t respond. Instead, he gets up and walk over to the movie shelf and starts rifling through the Winchester's DVDs. 

  
Jo gives Dean a “get out of here” kind of look, jerking her head toward the door and narrowing his eyes. Dean clears his throat and stands. “I've really got a lot of homework.” He says.

  
Castiel spins around. “Dude, don't bail on me! C'mon!”

  
Dean freezes, caught between Jo's icy glare and Castiel's pleading eyes, and he's not sure what to do. On one hand, he'd really _really_ like to stay here and sit next to Castiel while they watch a movie, to be able to smell him and feel his warmth. But, then, if he stays he's going to have to deal with Jo later. And why does Castiel even want him here in the first place? Dean may not have gone on a ton of dates, but he's pretty sure you don't usually want the other person's sibling there when you're trying to get lucky.

  
But, in the end, Castiel's blue eyes win out, and Dean sits back down. Castiel grins at him and pops A New Hope into the DVD player before coming back over to sit down. Dean can't help but notice that the other boy sits much closer to him than he does to Jo, and he's really not sure what's going on here. 

  
His confusion only grows throughout the movie, as Castiel basically ignores Jo and any of her attempts at flirting, and strikes up a conversation with Dean. He leans close and maintains a level of eye contact that would probably be weird if Dean didn't have such a massive crush on the guy. 

  
At then end of the night Castiel smiles at Dean, then leaves without giving Jo so much as a glance. After the door shuts, Jo turns to Dean, expression livid. 

“What the _fuck_ was that about?” She growls.

  
Dean takes a step back. “What?” He wonders. 

  
“You are _such_ a cockblock! And you were all over him! Why are you trying to ruin this for me?”

  
“I was not!” Dean protests. “And I’m not! He- he _asked_ me to stay, what was I supposed to do?”

  
Jo rolls her eyes. “Obviously he was just being polite. You were supposed to make something up and _leave_.”

  
“I tried!” Dean tells her.

  
“Obviously not hard enough.” She crosses her arms over her chest.

  
Dean sighs. “Why are you even doing this? He's not your type.”

  
“How would you know?” Jo asks, sneering.

  
“Because I know you.” Dean says softly.

  
This seems to take Jo by surprise, and her expression softens for a brief moment, but then it's back to that mean sneer. “You really don't.” She says. 

She turns and leaves, and Dean hears the door to her room slam shut a minute later.

 

-o-

 

The next weekend Jo tries again, because she's not going to lose this bet, goddammit. This time no one is home, Sam is at a friend's house, Dean is at the library, and Mary and John are out again. Jo invites Castiel over to watch movies again, and this time they won't be interrupted. She's wearing her pink miniskirt, a tiny white tank top that's practically see-through, and a lacy black bra. She smiles at herself in the mirror, he won't be able to resist her now. This, of course, makes her wince, because this isn’t exactly something she _wants_ to be doing. The thought of him touching her makes her feel like she's going to be sick.

  
When Castiel shows up he looks around, seemingly searching for something. 

“No one else here?” He wonders.

  
“Nope, just the two of us.” Jo says, smiling suggestively. 

  
Castiel ignores her. “Your parents aren’t home much, are they?”

  
Jo swallows, the unexpected use of the word stinging the back of her throat.“Mary and John are not my parents.” She says. 

  
This time, he does look at her. “Sorry.” He says, and it actually sounds sincere.

  
Jo blinks rapidly a few times. “Whatever.” She says. “They have “date night” on Saturdays.”

  
“What about everyone else?” Castiel asks, and Jo gets the distinct impression he's asking about Dean. She has the sudden intense urge to slap him across the face. She bites it back, smiling instead. 

  
“Sam is at a friend's house. I think Dean is at the library or something.” She scoffs. “Little nerd.”

  
Castiel tilts his head a little, looking at her. He squints a little, and she feels like she's said something wrong. She squares her shoulders, sticking her chest, and barrels on. “Anyway, how about that movie?” 

  
Castiel shrugs. He doesn’t seem overly enthused, but he follows her into the living room anyway. 

  
“What do you want to watch?” She wonders. 

  
He shrugs again, so she picks a random action movie from the shelf, rolling her eyes when she's turned away.

  
The next half hour does _not_ go well. Castiel ignores her flirting, gives one syllable answers to any questions she asks, and deliberately moves away from her when she puts her hand on his thigh. On top of that, the movie is only halfway over when he yawns and stands. 

  
“Well,” He says. “I'd better be going.”

  
“What?” Jo asks, “You just got here!”

  
“Gotta get home before dark.” He tells her. 

  
“It won't get dark for hours!” She protests.

  
“Yeah.” He says, but walks out of the living room anyway. 

  
She hurries to follow him, grasping for something, anything, so that the evening doesn’t go to waste. 

  
“How about a goodnight kiss?” She asks, catching him at the front door.

  
“No thanks.” He says, and he's walking out the door. 

  
Once he's out of sight she slams it hard. What the _fuck_?! What. The. Fuck? Why is this happening? She grits her teeth. She needs a drink, but she's underage and she doesn’t seem to be in good graces with any of her regular crew. She needs _something_ to help her stop thinking. _Something_.

 

 

None of her friends have any alcohol or weed, apparently. It's a goddamn lie and she knows it, they just don't want to share. So she grabs a light jacket and she drives, as far as her shitty little Ford Five Hundred can go. She ends up, oddly enough, at a Krispy Kreme. She stands outside of it looking up at the sign for a very long time. She can't fucking eat _donuts_ , she'll get fat! Then where will she be? But, as much as she tells herself these facts, she finds her feet taking her to the door. She remembers back when her parents were alive and they would go to Krispy Kreme on Sundays and eat donuts until they were sick. Just a stupid family tradition. 

  
Then she's at the counter and she's ordering a glazed cruller and a glazed raspberry filled and a double chocolate eclair before she can stop herself. And when the pretty girl at the register asks, “Will that be all?” Jo grabs a bottle of milk from the refrigerated display next to the counter and says,

  
“This too.”

  
She sits down at a little table toward the back of the building and she eats all three doughnuts, losing herself in them the way she loses herself in whiskey. But, unlike Jack Daniels, doughnuts don't dull things, and before long she's remembering the way her mother laughed and the way her father used to ruffle her hair and _fuck_ she's crying into her milk at a Krispy Kreme. This has got to be a new low, she thinks. At least none of Ruby's crew is around to see it. Yeah, _Ruby's_ crew. They're not Jo's crew, not her friends, they never have been and she knows it. Of course she knows it. She just hasn’t wanted to admit it. 

  
She's wiping her tears with a napkin when someone comes up next to her and sets another doughnut in front of her. Strawberry shortcake eclair. When she looks up she's met with warm brown eyes and long red hair, it's the girl from the counter.

  
“What's this for?” Jo asks.

  
“You looked like you could use it.” The girl tells her. “This kind is my favorite, always makes me feel better when I’m having a bad day.”

  
Jo smiles up at her, and she's sure it looks more like a grimace, but she means it. Kindness from strangers, or friends for that matter, isn’t something she encounters often.

  
“Mind if I sit down?” The girl wonders.

  
“You don't have to get back to work?” Jo wants her to stay. She wants to talk to someone, someone who doesn’t know her, someone isn’t already judging by what they've heard of her. But she doesn't want to get the girl in trouble.

  
“I just clocked out.” The girl says.

  
“Oh, I don't want to keep you from going home!” Jo protests. 

  
The girl waves her off. “Nothing to do there anyway.” She smiles, extending her hand toward Jo. “My name is Anna.” She says.

 

-o-

 

Dean is at the library working on a paper for english and, while Castiel Collins may not be the last person he expects to see here, he's pretty high on the list. So when the boy in question sits down at the table next to him, Dean is understandably startled. 

  
Castiel leans back in his chair and grins at Dean, toying idly with the green bead on his tongue. 

  
“What are you doing here?” Dean asks.

  
“It's the library.” Castiel says conspiratorially, “I'm here to read, obviously.”

  
“You don't have any books.” Dean says.

  
Castiel's grin stretches wider. “You caught me.” He says, tapping his fingertips on the table. 

  
“Well, then... what are you here for?”

  
“Jo said you were here.” Castiel admits. “I came to say “hi”.”

  
“Oh, well, hi.” Dean says, a blush rising in his cheeks. Why did Castiel come here just to say hello? It doesn’t make sense. 

  
“Hi.” Castiel replies, and his gaze seems... a little more friendly than Dean expects. 

  
But then, Dean remembers something that Jo said earlier. “Aren't you supposed to be on a date with Jo?”

  
Castiel's eyes dart away, and his smile gets a little smaller. “Not a date.” He says. “Just hangin' out. Anyway it wasn’t any fun without you there.” 

  
Dean swallows, heat rising even further up his cheeks. He doesn’t exactly understand why Castiel is here, but but doesn’t want Jo to get hurt. 

  
“She thinks it's a date.” He tells Castiel.

  
The other boy shakes his head. “She's only doing it for a bet.” When Dean looks up, surprised and confused, Castiel explains. “Eve Nelson told me.”

  
And, really, that does make a lot of sense. Castiel isn’t the type of guy Jo goes for, and he has been wondering about her change in taste. “Oh, are you... okay? I mean, that seems like kind of a douche move on her part.”

  
Castiel laughs. “Yeah, I don't care. I'm not into her like that.”

  
“Then... why did you agree to go out with her?”

  
“You.” Castiel says, tilting his head to the side. “I thought it would be a good chance to meet you.”

  
Dean's pencil slips through his fingers to clatter onto the table. “Me?” He asks quietly. 

  
“Yeah, you.” Castiel puts his elbows on his knees and leans forward toward Dean. “I like you.”

  
“You...”

  
“Like you.” Castiel laughs. “To put it in middle school terms, I _like_ like you. Does that clear things up?”

  
Dean looks down at his hands. This can't be happening, Castiel Collins _can't_ like him. Things like that don't happen, especially not to him. 

  
“Did someone put you up to this?” He asks.

  
“Dean,” Castiel says, voice deep and serious. His eyes are earnest. “I like you. No one put me up to this. I think you're cute, and funny, and I would very much like to take you out on a date.”

  
Dean just stares at him, dumbfounded. “You... really?”

  
Castiel reaches out and settles his hand on Dean's knee, rubbing the denim with his thumb. “Yeah. Is that... okay?”

  
“Yeah.” Dean breathes. “I... would like that.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this is taking me a little longer than I thought it would. I've got to work tomorrow so I didn't have time to finish it tonight but I promised you guys _something_ so I thought I'd split this into three chapters instead of two.  
>  And I haven't properly proofread, so there are probably some mistakes.
> 
> Anyway, some warnings for this chapter:  
> underage drinking, Jo probably has an eating disorder

Jo gets home late, phone burning a hole in her jacket pocket. Anna’s phone number is in there, and Jo is having a hard time fighting the urge to text her already. But she’s not going to do that, of course, she doesn’t want to seem desperate. Not that she’s interested in Anna, of course not! She’s into guys. Big, meaty guys with strong jaws and muscles. Not girls with pretty, soft red hair who smell really good and have delicate fingers and nice smiles and great tits. Not that she’s been looking at Anna’s tits!  
… Anyway. The _point_ is that Jo is not attracted to Anna. She just… thinks Anna is really cool.

  
She almost jumps out of her skin when she turns and sees all four Winchesters in the kitchen, she’d been so preoccupied that she hadn’t even noticed.

  
“Hey Jo!” Sam calls.

  
Jo walks into the kitchen, feeling uneasy. Dean is sitting at the counter and avoiding her gaze, and she doesn’t really blame him, she’s been kind of a dick lately.

  
“Hey squirt.” She ruffles Sam’s hair, he huffs and tries to make it lay back down.

  
“You’re just in time for supper, Jo!” Mary says happily, from the stove. “I’m just about finished with these noodles.”

  
Normally Jo would make up some excuse and go to her room, but tonight she kind of wants the company.  
“Okay.” She says, earning a happy smile from Mary and a confused frown from Dean.

 

 

After dinner, Jo catches Dean in the hallway.

  
“Hey,” She says. “Um, look, I’m sorry I’ve been kind of a dick to you lately.”

  
Dean grimaces. “That’s okay.” He replies. He’s quite for a minute before he speaks again. “I… I’ve been meaning to talk to you.”

  
Jo feels anxiety roil in her stomach. She knows what’s coming.

  
“Are you… alright?”

  
Jo rolls her eyes. “Yeah, I’m good.”

  
“It’s just, you’ve been hanging out with Ruby and them a lot lately.” He continues.

  
“So what?”

  
“They- they’re not good people, Jo.” Dean says earnestly. “Ruby… she’s trouble.”

  
And yes, this is about what she was expecting. “Just leave it, Dean.” She says.

  
“Jo,” Dean reaches out to catch her elbow. “I’m worried about you.”

  
She jerks her elbow away. She’s done with this conversation. Dinner went well and everything but that doesn’t mean everything is magically fixed.  
“Worry about yourself.” She says, turning.

  
Back in her room, she worries her phone in her hand. She wants to text Anna. Talking to Anna earlier had been like… like a glass of cool water after walking for days. Refreshing, cleansing. Anna isn’t like Jo’s other friends.

  
Eventually, she caves. She texts Anna.

 

-o-

 

Sunday, Castiel takes Dean to a movie. Dean spends a long time getting dressed, trying to find a shirt that’s not tight on his belly, but he has a hard time. He wants to wear something nice, but all his button-downs pull open a little bit at the bottom buttons. He sighs sadly and tries his t-shirts instead. They’re tighter than he’d like too, but not quite as bad. He has a Game of Thrones shirt that’s a little bigger than his others, and he slips that over his head. It’s not what he wants, he want’s to look _nice_ , but he supposes it’s the best he’s going to do. He wears a new pair of jeans and they, at least, look pretty good. He wears a thin plaid jacket over top to hide the rolls in his sides. He looks at himself in the mirror and… well, at least he’ll have one date with Castiel before the other boy realizes that Dean is plain and fat and not date material.

  
Castiel picks Dean up in a rusty blue truck that just has one long seat instead of two, he’s wearing black jeans and a white t-shirt that makes his tattoos stand out all the more and he’s beautiful, as always. They go to the cheap theater where the floors are sticky and the sound could be better, but it’s only $4 per person and Dean will put up with a lot to see a movie that cheap. It’s not bad, really, especially since Castiel buys a large popcorn for them to share and puts his arm around Dean almost immediately. Dean leans into him, reveling in his warmth and the smell of Old Spice on his skin.

  
Afterward they go to a little pizza joint nearby, one that’s popular with the college students. It has a foosball table, a bunch of old arcade games and glow-in-the-dark mushrooms painted on the booths. Dean and Castiel get a spinach and tomato pizza to split and Dean only eats one piece even though he’s still hungry afterward. The longer he can keep Castiel from realizing that he’s gross, the better.

  
“You want more?” Castiel asks him after Dean is finished with his piece.

  
“Oh, um, no.” Dean lies. “I’m not that hungry.”

  
Castiel looks unconvinced, but he doesn’t argue. “Well, it’s there if you change your mind.” He says.

  
They talk for a while, about movies and family and books, and Dean can’t believe this is happening to him. It feels so surreal, and he’s a little terrified that he’s going to wake up at any moment and none of this will have been real. Talking to Castiel is frighteningly easy, it feels like they’ve been friends forever.

  
They play foosball, and it turns out that Castiel is unfairly good at it. He leans into it, arms moving so quickly that his tattoos blur. He kicks Dean’s ass.

  
Dean plays Packman and Castiel comes up behind him to put his chin on Dean’s shoulder. Dean gets distracted, his hand falters and his gaze flickers toward the other boy. He loses, but it’s okay because he can feel Castiel’s breath tickling his shoulder.

  
They go back to the booth after a while and they talk more and Dean eats two more slices of pizza without thinking about it, and Castiel lets Dean inspect the tattoos on his arms. The right sleeve is flowers, sunflowers and daisies and daffodils all rolling together up his arm. On the left is a depiction of a dragon, tail curled around his bicep, head resting just above his hand.

  
“Do they mean something?” Dean wonders, tracing his fingers over the lines.

  
“The flowers are for my mom.” Castiel tells him. “She was always really big into flower gardens, she like the yellows especially.” He gives Dean a smile, but it seems a little sad. “The dragon is because dragons are fuckin’ cool.” This time he smiles big.

  
Dean laughs. “They _are_ really cool.” He sighs. “Your tattoos are so cool.”

  
Castiel looks at him thoughtfully for a moment, capturing the ball on his tongue between his teeth. “You ever think about getting any?”

  
Dean shrugs. “Maybe. I mean, I think they’re great but I don’t know what I’d get. Anyway they wouldn’t look like they do on you.”

  
Castiel’s head tilts a little to the left. “What do you mean?” He wonders.

  
Dean can feel that oh-so-familiar heat creeping up his neck, he hadn’t really meant to say that last part. He doesn’t want to explain himself, doesn’t want to bring attention to the things he hates about himself.  
“Ah, nothing.” He waves his hand.

  
Castiel’s lips part, and he’s about to ask again, to press. Dean suddenly feels overwhelmingly nervous, for the first time tonight. He glances at his phone, hoping for an escape.

   
“Wow, it’s later than I thought!” He says. “I better get home.”

  
Castiel frowns a little, like he knows Dean is avoiding something, but he just says, “Alright.”

 

 

When they get back to the Winchester house, Castiel parks in front of the curb. He looks a little nervous, he’s biting his lip and rubbing his thumb over a bump in the steering wheel.

  
“Hey,” He says after a while. “Can I have your phone number?”

  
He looks up hopefully, and it makes Dean’s stomach bloom with warmth. He smiles involuntarily. “Yeah, sure.” He says.

  
Castiel smiles back at him, and Dean feels like anything at all is possible. They exchange numbers, but before Dean can get out of the car he feels fingers brush over his wrist. When he looks back, Castiel is leaning toward him.

  
“Dean,” He says. “Can I kiss you before you go?”

  
This is a dream, it must be a dream. But if it is, Dean is going to enjoy it for as long as it lasts. His fingers are tingling and his heart is beating quickly as he says, “Okay.”  
He scoots a little closer to Castiel, who unbuckles his seat-belt and also scoots closer. They’re side by side, and Castiel leans in, nose touching Dean’s, to brush they’re lips together softly. Dean is a little disappointed, but then the other boy’s lips are brushing his again, a little harder. Castiel continues on like this, changing the kiss just a little bit with each brush forward. His fingers brush Dean’s on the leather seat, and he threads them together. By the time Castiel’s tongue brushes Dean’s lips, Dean is feeling lightheaded, but in the best way possible. He parts his lips just a little, and Castiel’s tongue is there again, teasing, brushing past Dean’s lips and nudging the other boy’s tongue gently. Dean has kissed before, but he’s never done _this_ , and he isn’t exactly sure what he’s supposed to do. He presses his tongue back against Castiel’s and feels the tongue ring bump against him, which sends a thrill up his spine. Castiel’s hand comes up to cup Dean’s cheek and Dean’s hands are bunched up in Castiel’s shirt and it feels like things are getting a little out of control so Dean pulls back, breaking the kiss.

  
Castiel looks dazed, still leaning forward, eyes hooded. His lips are very red and when his eyes flick up to Dean’s they look hungry.  
Dean wipes his mouth with the back of a shaky hand, trying very hard to ignore the arousal sitting low in his belly.

  
“Sorry if I’m not any good.” He says.

  
Castiel shakes his head, eyes widening. He leans forward again to place one more kiss on Dean’s lips. It’s tender, sweet. “You’re great.” He whispers when they’ve parted.

  
Dean looks away, a little nervous, a little embarrassed. “Thanks.”

  
For a little bit, they sit in silence, mostly catching their breath and waiting for their paces to calm.

  
Castiel sighs. “I should probably talk to Jo, huh?” He asks.

  
Dean straightens up, he’d totally forgotten about Jo. “Yeah, probably.”

  
“You think she’s in there?” He nods toward the house.

  
“Yeah.”

  
“Hmm. Will you send her out when you go in?” Castiel wonders.

  
Dean nods. “Sure.”

 

-o-

 

Dean comes in the front door and it’s pretty obvious he’s been hooking up with someone. His lips are red and swollen, his cheeks are flushed, and he doesn’t immediately go to say hello to his parents, which is a sure sign he’s been up to something. Jo is filing this knowledge away for future reference when Dean comes into the living room and stops right in front of her.

  
“Hey, Cas is outside and he wants to talk to you.” He says.

  
Jo frowns. Castiel is outside? Now? Why? Was he with Dean? And then, of course, if he was with Dean… what were they doing. She thinks she knows, and she feels a buzz of anger in her veins. Not so much that she may have lose Castiel, but that she’s been passed over for someone else again. And the bet, she’ll lose the bet. She _can't_ lose the bet. But she doesn’t say any of this. She keeps her face blank and she says,

  
“Okay” and she gets up.

  
Castiel is sitting in a ratty pickup in front of the curb, and when Jo gets in her suspicions are confirmed. Castiel’s lips are swollen too, and she knows the look on his face.  
“Were you _making out_ with Dean?!” She asks, no longer able to keep her thoughts to herself.

  
When Castiel looks at her, his face is calm, disinterested. “I know you only asked me out for a bet so you can stop acting so offended now.” He says.

  
She freezes. He knows. “How did…”

  
“Eve Nelson told me.”

  
“That _bitch_!”

  
“Anyway I’m kind of going out with Dean now, so you can stop coming on to me.”

  
Jo curls her hands into fists. “You’re picking _Dean_ over me?” She seethes.

  
Castiel raises a pierced eyebrow. “You and I weren’t dating, Jo. I don’t like you and you don’t like me. I like Dean.”

  
“Well, yeah, but… _Dean_? Really?”

  
Castiel’s mouth slides into an unhappy frown. “Yes, really.” He says. “Now get out, that’s all I wanted to tell you.”

  
“Wait!” Jo gasps. “If I lose this bet, I’m finished! They’ll fucking _ostracize_ me, okay? I- I need this!”

  
Castiel sighs and leans his head back onto the head-rest. “This is something to do with Ruby, right?”

  
“I… yes.” Jo says after a moment of hesitation.

  
“That bitch is crazy.” Castiel tells her. “You’ll be better off without her anyway.”

  
“That’s none of your business!”

  
“Whatever. Anyway, get out now.”

  
So she does. She’s seething, angrier than she has been in a really long time. She doesn’t go back inside the house, she takes off down the sidewalk as she hears Castiel’s truck sputter away. What is she going to do now? This can’t be happening.

  
She doesn’t even realize she’s pulling out her phone and dialing a number until she hears the tone. Then, that voice, like bells and honey.  
“Hello?”

  
“Anna, hey.” Jo finds herself saying. “Are… are you busy?”

 

 

Anna is not busy. They end up meeting at Ransett Park, where they sit on the swings and drift back and forth side-by-side as the sun gets low in the sky. Anna looks beautiful in the fading light, red hair fanning out behind her as she swings. When she smiles it’s like looking into the sun, and everything is okay, everything is fine.  
Until Ruby finds out, everything is okay.

 

-o-

 

A few days later, Castiel invites Dean over to his house. Surprisingly, it’s not far from Dean’s. Maybe a ten minute walk. It’s just a little blue house, with white shutters and a scraggly front yard.

  
The inside of the house is dark and the furniture is sparse, but the walls are painted warm colors and there are little glass cat figurines all over the place.

  
Castiel’s bedroom is messy, with clothes strewn across the floor that he quickly picks up and throws into the corner. Posters coat the walls, bands and movies and even one of a heavily muscled man flexing on a motorcycle. There’s a full-length mirror on the back of the door and the top of the dresser is littered with makeup and nail-polish.

  
They sit on Castiel’s bed, atop the bedspread, leaning against the headboard, and watch the first season of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Castiel puts his arm around Dean, who leans in close to him happily.

  
Castiel makes them chicken salad sandwiches and paints Dean’s fingernails green “to match his eyes” and then, after a while, they’re kissing again. Dean’s newly-dried fingers are in Castiel’s hair and Castiel’s are cupping his jaw and somehow they’re sort of laying down and Castiel is half on top of Dean. Things are going pretty well until one of Castiel’s hands drifts down Dean’s side to rest on his hip, and he panics. He doesn’t want Castiel to feel his fat hips, the pudge at the top of his pants. He breaks the kiss and presses his palms to the other boy’s chest, pushing him away. Castiel backs off quickly, watching Dean with a worried expression on his face.

  
“What’s wrong?” He wonders.

  
Dean huffs and shakes his head, because he doesn’t know how to explain this. He doesn’t know how to say “I don’t want you to know I’m fat” without giving the secret away anyway.

  
Castiel, thankfully, seems to think they were just moving too quickly for Dean.

  
“It’s okay.” He says, pressing one more quick kiss to Dean’s lips. “We can do something else. I’ve got Super Smash Bros.”

  
Dean smiles up at him. “That sounds good.”

 

The play Super Smash Bros in the living room until it starts to get dark and Castiel’s dad comes home. Mr. Collins is a small, mouse-faced man with a nervous twitch, but he’s a pretty nice guy. He greets Dean happily, not even blinking at the boy’s nail polish. He keeps talking about how Castiel never brings friends home, which makes his son turn red and groan,  
“Dad, quit it.” Which is pretty hilarious.

  
Castiel drives Dean home, kissing him again before he gets out of the truck, leaving Dean feeling giddy… and a little dizzy.

 

-o-

 

Ruby, of course, finds out about Jo’s whole mess almost immediately. The next time Jo goes to her regular table to sit down with her group Ruby stops her with a raised eyebrow.

  
“What do you think you’re doing?” She asks.

  
“I… eating lunch?” Jo tries, but her heart is sinking, she knows what’s happening.

  
“Not here you’re not.” Ruby tells her. “You can sit… over there.” She points with one perfect nail to a table in the corner where the kids with the more noticeable body odors tend to congregate.

  
“But- I, he’s _gay_! It’s not my fault he didn’t like me, he likes guys!” Jo pleads.

  
Ruby feigns gagging, but her eyes are still cold. “It’s a shame. But… there’s nothing I can do.”

  
“But that’s not fair!”

  
The look Ruby fixes her with makes her blood run cold. “Life isn’t fair, Jo.” She says. “Now get out of my sight, I’m done talking to you.”

  
Jo turns away, ignoring the looks she gets from her former friends, ranging from smug to pitying. Her hands are shaking, her vision blurs, she feels so out of control. She leaves her tray on Ruby’s table and she stumbles to the nearest bathroom where she throws up her breakfast.

 

 

“Jo?” A voice filters into her senses, but it sounds far away and she doesn’t care.

  
“Jo, are you okay?” She recognizes Sam’s voice, and she hates to worry him, he’s a good kid. But she’s so tired, too tired to deal with this. She’d had to walk home because Myra refused to give her a ride now that she’s not part of Ruby’s group, and that had been the last straw. She’d made a detour to Varsity Liquor where she’d paid a guy to get her $20 worth of vodka and she’s been pounding the stuff pretty much nonstop since she got home.

  
“Smm” She slurs, turning over in bed, toward his voice. “Y- y sha go.”

  
“What?” Sam asks, and Jo thinks that he sounds worried.

  
“Shhhh.” Jo shushes, waving limply in his direction.

  
A second later she thinks she hears his footsteps fading away.

 

-o-

 

Dean is laying on his bed. He’s trying to do his homework, but really he’s just texting Cas. There’s a knock at his door, and when he says “Come in.” Sam opens the door and sticks his head in.

  
He looks scared, and Dean puts his phone down and sits up.

“What’s wrong?” He asks. Mom and Dad aren’t home from work yet, and if it’s something too bad he’ll probably have to call Uncle Bobby.

  
“I think there’s something wrong with Jo!” Sam says urgently.

  
Dean jumps up quickly to follow Sam out of his room and down the hall. When Sam opens the door to Jo’s room Dean is hit with a foul-smelling wall.

  
“Holy shit.” He says, stepping in. Jo is on the bed, still in her school clothes. Her pillow is speckled with what looks like vomit and there’s a half-empty bottle of Svedka on the floor. Dean goes quickly to the bed, where he sees that she has apparently vomited a few times. She’s laying in a puddle of it, shirt discolored with the stuff, and when he gets a good look at her face he can see that her lips are tinged blue.

  
“Fuck!” Dean hisses.

  
“What? What is it?” Sam wonders from the doorway, wringing his hands.

  
“I- think she’s got alcohol poisoning, I don’t know!” He doesn’t know. He doesn’t know very much about alcohol poisoning and he doesn’t know how to deal with it. But _god_ this doesn’t look good. Her breathing is shallow and her fingers are twitching oddly by her sides.

  
“Sam, go in my room and get my phone from the bed.” He tells his brother, and he hears footsteps retreating quickly.

  
“Jo? Can you hear me?” He wonders.

  
She slurs something incomprehensible and Dean swallows, heart in his throat.

  
When Sam comes back he hands Dean his phone and retreats back to the door, obviously anxious.

“Is she going to be okay?” He asks, voice breaking.

  
“I don’t know.” Dean says. He doesn’t want to get Jo in trouble, but he also wants Jo to be okay. He skims through his contacts for the one he wants, and presses send. A few seconds later comes,  
“Hello?”

  
“Hey, Cas.” Dean breathes. “What do you know about alcohol poisoning?”

 

 

Castiel shows up faster than Dean would have thought possible, takes one look at Jo, and declares that they need to take her to the hospital.  
“I know you don’t want to get her in trouble, but she could die.” He tells Dean.

  
Dean swallows and nods, he’d thought that might be the case.

  
Castiel picks Jo up bridal style, despite the vomit, and carries her to his truck with Sam trailing behind. Dean, to his credit, only admires the muscles in Castiel arms for a split second before he grabs Jo’s phone off of her bed and follows. Castiel drives, Sam sits in the middle, and Dean sits shotgun with Jo sort of slumped over in his lap. Castiel and Sam get pseudo-introduced in a panicked sort of way, Sam leaves voice-mails for both of their parents, and Dean opens Jo’s phone.

  
He knows he probably shouldn’t, but he does it anyway. Once he does, he’s glad, because there’s a conversation between Jo and someone named Anna wherein Jo becomes more and more incoherent and Anna seems to get more and worried.

  
Before Jo get’s too drunk she says a lot of things about how much she misses her parents, how much she hates herself. She wants out, she says. Anna’s last few texts go unanswered, and Dean can tell she’s panicking. Her last text says that if Jo doesn’t answer she’s calling 911, so Dean takes a minute to text the girl and tell her what’s going on. She’s still worried, but she’s glad that someone is taking Jo to the hospital. She tells Dean to let her know what happens.

  
Jo gags in Dean’s lap, and Dean helps her vomit into a big bowl they brought from the house.

  
“Shit.” He curses when some of it gets on the floorboard. “Sorry, Cas.”

  
Castiel shakes his head and keeps his eyes on the road. “No big deal.” He says. “It’ll wash out.”

  
Sam, who has seemed unsure about Castiel until now, looks at him again. He seems like he’s reevaluating.

  
Dean holds Jo’s hair back from her face, smoothing down stray hairs. “It’s okay, sis.” He says softly. “I got’cha.”

  
Jo’s face scrunches up and then she’s crying. She turns her head and sobs into Dean’s shirt, smearing snot and vomit and tears into it. He rubs his hand up and down her back slowly, hoping that it’s helping.

  
“Sorry.” She whispers, curling her hand in the edge of his shirt. “I… I _suck_.” She slurs, but at least she’s talking again.

  
“You don’t suck.” Dean assures her.

  
“’m a bitch.” She tells him, then she’s gagging again and he helps her turn to throw up in the bowl again.

Dean sighs. "You're not a bitch." He says.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long, but there's sex at the end so hopefully that makes up for it.   
> I didn't write Jo/Anna sex, but it's there, if you kind of look for it.
> 
> If you spot any mistakes, feel free to let me know.

The hospital is cold, and the endless white of the walls makes Dean's eyes ache. Mary and John are in the hospital room with Jo now, she's awake but she's still on a drip and they're keeping her for a while to make sure she's okay. Dean, Castiel, and Sam are in the little waiting room with it's worn chairs and little television that you can't hear. There's a big tank with sickly looking fish that swim slowly around in circles. Sam is playing with his phone, looking a little bored now that they're pretty sure Jo isn’t going to die. Dean and Castiel are sitting on the couch in the corner, Dean leaning sleepily on Castiel. His face is tucked into Castiel's neck, and the other boy is running his fingers lazily through Dean's hair. 

  
Earlier, Castiel met Dean's parents when they'd walked into Jo's hospital room and seen the two boys holding hands. It was a terrifying experience, but they hadn’t seemed to think it was terribly important at the moment, what with Jo laying still and pale in the hospital bed a few feet away. Later on they'd met properly and, although John had eyed Castiel's tattoos with some distaste, everyone had been civil and Mary had smiled happily and, really, it went as well as he could have hoped. 

  
Dean sighs. “Thanks.” He says.

  
“What for?” Castiel wonders.

  
“Picking us up, helping me figure out what to do, staying here with me.” Dean lists.

  
“It's no problem.” Castiel murmurs. He shifts his arms around Dean and pulls him closer,  pressing his lips to the other boy's forehead. 

  
Dean turns his face into Castiel's shirt to hide his smile and Castiel brushes his fingers over the back of his neck. 

 

-o-

 

Jo is in trouble. Not as much as she expected, but obviously more than she'd like. They're finally home from the hospital and she feels like she's been hit by a truck but maybe it's not as bad it could be. Castiel is still around, holding Dean's hand and generally acting gross and Jo really wishes somebody would make them stop, but Mary seems to think it's adorable and John is pretending it isn’t happening. 

  
Everyone is being very careful, very nice, stepping lightly. It's odd, because she expected everyone to be very angry. And, well, John and Mary did have some words for her earlier, but now things are pretty quiet. 

  
Mary makes pancakes for supper and invites Castiel to stay and eat and, really, it's not so bad.

  
At least Jo gets to skip school for the rest of the week.

 

-o-

 

How everyone found out that Jo went to the hospital, Dean will never know. But everyone knows and and people keep coming up to him at school and asking about it. By lunch, he's incredibly annoyed. But then, once they're out of the lunch line, Castiel takes Dean's hand and leads him to his usual table. 

  
The people already sitting there are fairly intimidating, but oddly welcoming. Meg is short and dark haired, she has a tattoo of a naked woman up her arm, and she says absolutely anything she thinks. Balthazar is British. He talks about how the rest of the group is is crass and gross a lot, but he still hangs out with them, which Dean thinks is odd. There's also Ash, who mostly just sleeps a lot, and Gilda, who Dean would describe as “a hippie”. 

  
“And this is Dean,” Castiel says, after introducing the rest of them. “My...” He looks at Dean, raising an eyebrow. “boyfriend?”

  
Dean smiles and gives a little nod, trying to pretend he's not buzzing with excitement. Boyfriend. Castiel just described him as his boyfriend. 

  
A few minutes later, Dean spots Charlie and Kevin. He waves them over. Charlie seems intrigued, Kevin seems terrified, but they both come over and sit down and, what do you know, everyone seems to get along all right. 

  
Everything is going very well until Myra comes over. Dean can't remember her last name, but she's part of that group of Ruby's and Dean doesn’t like her one bit. She gives the table a disgusted look before turning to Dean,

  
“So, is it true that Jo tried to _kill herself_?” she asks with an almost gleeful look on her face.

  
“No, it's not.” Dean says, trying his hardest to remain civil.

  
“What happened then?” Myra wonders, sounding like she doesn’t believe him.

  
“She got hurt.” Dean says shortly.

  
Myra rolls her eyes. “Well _how_?” She presses.

  
It's at this point Castiel intervenes, presumably picking up on how little Dean wants to have this conversation.

  
“None of your goddamn business, bitch!” He snaps. And Dean would really not have been quite that rude, but if it works, it works. “Now get out of here!” He takes a handful of fries from his tray and throws them at her. “Go on, git!”

  
Myra shrieks and tries to brush the salt off of her shirt, but it doesn’t work very well. She stumbles away, sputtering and cursing, and when Dean looks back at Castiel the boy is laughing softly. When he catches Dean's eye he shrugs, then leans in and presses a chaste kiss to his lips.

  
Dean freezes, surprised. He's entirely unused to public displays of affection. But when Castiel pulls away he can't help but smile. 

  
A gagging sound catches his attention, and when he turns Dean finds Gordon walker at the table behind him pretending to throw up. 

  
“Do you have a problem?” Castiel asks.

  
Gordon frowns. “Just don't think you should be doin' that in public.” He says. “It's gross enough as it is, I don't wanna fuckin' see it.”

  
Castiel and Meg both open their mouths to respond, but Charlie beats them to it. She crosses her arms over her chest. “Gordon Walker, I saw you sucking face with Lisa Emett in the hall _yesterday_!”

  
“Well yeah, but they're _guys_!” He argues.

  
“Hey, how about you fuck off, man?” Castiel chimes in. 

  
Gordon's jaw tenses, and he stands. “Why don't you make me?”

  
Castiel stands too, and Dean can't help but feel like he's really very attractive like this, with his shoulders squared and his jaw set. But he can't let his boyfriend get in trouble. He stands too and puts a hand on Castiel's arm.   
”Cas,” He says. “It doesn’t matter.”

  
Castiel turns his head to meet Dean's eye, and he looks conflicted. After a moment he sighs, gives Gordon one last scathing look, and sits back down. Gordon stands where he is for several long moments, looking confused, before he spits, “Whatever.” and stomps off.

  
Castiel frowns. “I should have kicked his ass.” He grumbles. 

  
Dean nudges him with his elbow. “But,” He reminds him. “Then you'd probably get suspended and you wouldn’t get to spend time with me at school.” He smiles in what he hopes is a charming way.

  
Castiel's expression warms. “That's true.” he says. He leans in and gives Dean another kiss. 

 

In retrospect, Dean probably should have foreseen that someone would say something to piss Castiel off when he wasn’t there. So, later on, when Castiel sheepishly admits that he has to leave early because he's been suspended for fighting, Dean isn’t entirely surprised, but still a little more surprised than he probably should be. 

 

-o-

 

Mary and John have taken Jo's car keys for a while, so she can't drive anywhere, but there's nothing stopping her from inviting people over when they're at work.

  
Anna comes over after school on Thursday when Dean is out on a date or something and Sam is at debate club. They sit around and watch old chick flicks and, really, Jo hasn’t had this much fun with a friend in a long time. Nobody's drunk or high or anything, they're just hanging out. It's weird. They even talk.

  
“They want me to see a therapist.” Jo says with distaste. 

  
“What's wrong with that?” Anna wonders.

  
“I'm not _crazy_! I don't want people to think I’m crazy.” Jo explains.

  
Anna pats Jo on the knee. “Lots of people see therapists.” She assures Jo. “For lots of reasons. It's like, if you get sick you go to the doctor, right? Well, sometimes you need a doctor for your brain too, it's not about whether or not you're mentally ill.”

  
“Hmm.” Jo says. “Maybe. I still don't want to go.” She grumbles.

  
There's a minute of oddly comfortable silence before either of them speaks again.  
“Let me paint your toe-nails!” Anna exclaims. She reaches out to grab one of Jo's feet and pull it into her lap. 

  
“Oh my god!” Jo laughs. “That fucking _tickles_! I almost just kicked you in the face!”

  
Anna just grins and wiggles her eyebrows, pulling a bottle of sparkly blue polish out of her purse. Jo watches as Anna deftly paints the nails on one foot and then the other. Her hands are soft and her fingers are long and nimble, and when she concentrates she bites her bottom lip and she's just so...  
She looks up and catches Jo watching her.

  
She laughs. “Hello.” She says. 

  
Jo looks away, face coloring

  
She tries not to stare again, but she can't really help it. Anna is leaned over Jo's foot, curtain of hair falling over her shoulder. The gentle swell of her breast is visible at the top of her blue tank top and it's making Jo feel fuzzy headed. She can't look away. 

  
Then Anna looks up again and this time she has a sly smile on her face. “Are you looking at my tits?”

  
Jo chokes. “No, no! I- I’m not! Of course not!”

  
Anna just grins up at her. “Mmkay.” She says. She finishes painting, blowing gently on Jo's toes until the polish dries. When she sits back up she hesitates and then, very quickly, she leans forward and kisses Jo on the lips. 

  
It's perfect, everything she's been missing from every other kiss. Anna's lips are so soft and warm and her hand is on Jo's thigh and wow that's nice. But when Anna pulls back the only thing Jo can think to say is,  
“I'm not gay.”

  
Anna stills. The look on her face is caught somewhere between confused and incredulous. “What?”

  
“I'm... I’m not gay.”

  
Anna leans back a little. “So...”

  
Jo swallows. Why did she say that? Why? Because she's not, she's not gay. She doesn’t like girls. She just- she doesn’t! She just wants to keep talking to Anna, and kissing Anna, but she can't do that now because of her stupid mouth. 

  
“I- I don't know.” She says.

  
Anna sits back. She looks crestfallen, and Jo hates herself so much for putting that look on her beautiful face. 

  
“Okay.” She says, avoiding Jo's eye. “Sorry, um... maybe I should go.”

  
“You don't have to.” Jo tells her. She feels like she should backtrack, like she desperately needs to undo the damage she's just done, but she can't seem to find the words.

  
“I think I should, though.” Anna grabs her bag and stands. She sighs. “Just give me, like, a day or two, okay? I'll text you though.”

  
“Yeah, okay.” Jo says quietly. She stays very still as Anna leaves, heavy with the knowledge that she's just fucked this up royally.

 

-o-

 

Dean and Castiel are on the couch in Castiel's house. They're watching old reruns of Friends and, Dean is pretty sure, spooning. They're laying down side-by-side and Castiel is slotted behind Dean, his front pressed against his boyfriend's back. Dean likes it a lot, he feels safe. Castiel keeps nuzzling the back of  his neck too, and that's very nice. He brushes his hand up and down Dean's arm, his side. But then he's settling his hand over Dean's stomach, and Dean is trying to suck in his gut without being obvious about it. Castiel, of course, notices.

  
“You don't have to do that.” He says into the back of Dean's neck.

  
“Do what?” Dean asks, although he knows exactly what.

  
“Suck in.” He explains, slipping his hand up underneath Dean's shirt so that his palm is pressed directly skin. 

  
“I'm not.” Dean lies. 

  
Castiel hums and presses a kiss to the back of his neck. “Okay.” He says, sounding unconvinced. “Well, you don't have to.” 

  
Dean doesn’t say anything, and after a while Castiel's hand drifts down a little, to the band of Dean's pants. He rubs his thumb lightly along the fabric, and Dean tenses. It's not that he doesn’t want to do... _stuff_. He does! He's seventeen, for christsake, of course he does. And Castiel... he's just so hot. Underneath his tattoos are muscles, hard and strong, and he has a habit of toying with his tongue ring, capturing it absently between his teeth in a way that makes Dean shiver. But right at the waistband of his pants is where his fat pudges out and he can't suck it in and he's kind of freaking out. He reaches down and brushes Castiel's hand away from his waistband. 

  
Castiel stills, but he doesn’t say anything, he settles his hand on Dean's hip instead. Dean doesn’t like this either, there's fat there too, but he can't very well push Castiel's hand off twice, can he?

  
But he's tense and Castiel notices. He goes up on one elbow and looks down at Dean.

  
“You okay?” He wonders, concern written on his features.

  
“Ah, yeah.” Dean says nervously. 

  
“Am I making you uncomfortable?”

  
“N-no. I mean... Well, I just...” He trails off, completely unsure about how to explain. “Maybe just...” He takes Castiel's hand and moves it up to his chest. There's a little fat there too, but not as much, and it'll have to do. Castiel hums his assent and, for the rest of the night, doesn’t let his hands wander.  

 

-o-

 

Anna does text, to Jo's surprise. She doesn’t mention the kiss, but it weighs on Jo's mind. Because she'd liked it, at lot. And she likes Anna, more than she should. When she thinks about the red-head she feels jittery, restless. She wants to be near her, to touch her and... maybe kiss her, she doesn’t know.   
But she can't like Anna like that, can she? As she dwells on it, Jo can't actually come up with any real reasons why not. 

  
One night, after dinner, she goes to Dean's room. She knocks, and he says to come in. She does, and she goes to sit next to him where he's reading on his bed, leaning against the headboard. She doesn’t beat around the bush, because she doesn’t have time for that. She wants to figure this thing out before it's too late. 

  
“How did you know you were gay?” She asks.

  
Dean looks up from his book, squinting. “Well, I’m attracted to boys.” He says in a tone of voice that tells her it should have been obvious. 

  
“Well, okay, but what if you weren’t sure if you were attracted to a gender or not?” Jo tries.

  
“I don't follow.” Dean says. “Either you're attracted to someone or you're not.”

  
“Okay, but what if you're not attracted to a whole gender, just, like, one or two specific people?”

  
“That's fine.” Dean says. “That could be... bisexuality? Or maybe demisexuality?”

  
“What's demisexuality?” Jo wonders.

  
“When you need an emotional connection before you're sexually attracted to someone.” Dean tells her.

  
Jo frowns. That doesn’t really apply to her. She's always been pretty loose and fast with sex but, now that she thinks about it, it's always been more about the action than the partner, and she's not sure what to make of this. 

  
When she looks up, Dean is watching her. “You know,” He says. “You don't necessarily have to label yourself. If you find somebody you like... just go with it.” 

  
The more she thinks about this, the more sense it makes. She doesn’t think any of the Winchesters will care if she goes out with a girl. Some of the kids at school might, but she's already out of Ruby's good graces, so what does it matter, really?

  
Suddenly, she needs to call Anna. She needs to fix things, right now.  
She stands and reaches out to ruffle Dean's hair. “This was a good talk.” She says. “Thanks.”

  
Dean pushes his hair back down, frowning. “No problem.” He says.  
She darts from his room and back to her own where she pulls out her phone and calls Anna. The tone seems to go on forever, and Jo can feel herself beginning to panic.

  
Then there's her voice. “Hello?” Anna says. 

  
Jo breathes a sigh of relief. “Anna, it's Jo, and I’m an idiot.”

 

-o-

 

Castiel is oddly affectionate. He likes to sneak up behind Dean and pull him into surprise hugs, wrapping his arms around Dean's middle and kissing the side of his neck. Dean isn’t exactly sure why this surprises him, but it certainly does. It's a good surprise though. 

  
He's also very keen on taking Dean on dates, they go to the movies and out to eat and for walks in the park. Castiel shows Dean a tree fort in the woods behind his house and takes him to a comic book store run by an eclectic cousin of his. They have a lot of fun, but Dean can't help but feel like one of these days Castiel is going to realize how dorky and chubby Dean is and dump him and it's going to be more horrible the longer it takes. This feeling makes him withdraw a little, he tries not to get lost in the happiness he feels when he's with Castiel, tries not to touch him as much. He's weening himself off of Castiel in preparation for the point when the other boy realizes that Dean isn’t worth his time. 

  
They're at the park, feeding the ducks that are swimming across the big blue-green lake, and when Castiel goes to take Dean's hand, Dean shifts just a little so that he's out of reach. He wants to hold Castiel's hand, he does, but he also doesn’t want to get used to the feeling. 

  
But then when Dean glances over Castiel is looking down at the ground and he looks sad. They're both quiet for a while and then Castiel sits down on the ground, Dean follows. 

  
Castiel sighs. “Dean?” He says quietly.

  
“Yeah?”

  
“Did I... do something?”

  
“What do you mean?” Dean wonders.

  
Castiel looks over at him, and he looks a little lost. “You seem unhappy.” He swallows. “Am I... I mean- did I-”

  
“No!” Dean interrupts, suddenly realizing what the other boy is saying. Yes, he'd been trying to distance himself, but he doesn’t want Castiel to think that any of it is his fault, because it's not. “It's not- it's not you.”

  
“Then what's up?” Castiel wonders. He reaches over and puts his hand over Dean's where it lays on the ground. 

  
“I...” He scratches his head, deciding that now is the time to get this all out. Then Castiel will leave him and find someone cooler, but at least he won't be dreading it anymore. The thought makes him sick to his stomach, but he presses forward anyway. “I'm not boyfriend material.” He blurts. “I'm weird and I’m too nerdy and I’m fat.” He pinches his stomach to illustrate the point. “And, I just- I know you're going to realize it one day and leave and I was just trying to make it... hurt less.”

  
When he looks up, Castiel is staring at him with a baffled look on his face.   
“Are you serious?” He asks quietly.

  
“Well... yeah.” Dean says.

  
Castiel looks down at where his hands are clasped over his knees.   
“I've liked you for a long time, you know that?” He says softly. “But I just... I was too nervous to talk to you. And that's not like me. I don't get nervous to talk to people, I just do it. But you... you were intimidating.” He reaches up to rub the back of his neck, bites the inside of his snakebite nervously. “You're so fuckin' far out of my league, Dean.” He turns his head to look at Dean, and his eyes are so full of something big and heavy that Dean doesn’t want to think about. “You're so smart and funny and hot and I just never thought you'd actually go for someone like me. Like, I took a shot, but I didn’t expect it to actually _work_.”

  
Dean's head is spinning. He feels dizzy, and the tips of his fingers are tingling. Castiel thinks that Dean is out of his league? That's the most ridiculous thing he's ever heard in his life! He says he liked Dean for a long time, but that's ludicrous, people don't like Dean like that! But there's one thing that he's _really_ stuck on that makes probably the least sense.

  
“Did you just say I was hot?” He asks incredulously.

  
“Yeah, I did.” Castiel says earnestly. 

  
When Dean shakes his head, Castiel leans forward and brings his hand up to cup Dean's jaw. “You have the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen.” He says.

  
Dean looks away, blushing furiously. “You can't just say stuff like that.” He mumbles.

  
“Why not?” Castiel wonders. “Somebody should. I like you, like _a lot_. I want you. For as long as you want me.”

  
When Dean meets his eyes again, he's hit with the full force of the sincerity in Castiel's eyes. And there's something else, just there in the corners, the look that Dean sometimes sees in his father's eyes when his mother laughs, or when he sees her in the garden talking to plants.

  
“Oh.” Dean breathes. He's not sure what else to do, he's paralyzed with all these new realizations.

  
“Okay?” Castiel wonders.

  
Dean licks his lips, nods. “Okay.” He says.

  
Castiel leans forward and he kisses Dean, and technically it's the same as the kisses they've shared before but it feels different. There's some new weight behind it that leaves Dean feeling like he's spinning out of control, doing something daring. They sit by the lake and they kiss until a duck tries to bite Castiel on the leg and the two boys have to leave very quickly or risk admitting that they're afraid of a duck.

 

-o-

 

Anna comes over after her shift at Krispy Kreme, still in her uniform, smelling like sugar and cinnamon. Her hair is up in a messy ponytail and there's a thin sheen of sweet on her brow. In Jo's room, she sits on the side of the bed and looks around. Jo sits down next to her and the bed creaks just a little. 

  
“So.” Says Anna.

  
“So...” Says Jo.

  
“What's going on with you?” The red-head wonders.

  
Jo takes a deep breath. “Okay,” She says. “Here it is. In general, I don't really know what I like, but I like you. I like you, and if you still wanted to kiss me I wouldn’t- wouldn’t be weird about it this time.”

  
Anna studies her seriously for a long moment. “Swear?” She asks finally, raising her hand, pinkie outstretched.

  
Jo smiles and wraps her own pinkie around the other girl's. “Swear.” 

  
Anna leans over and kisses her, and this time Jo lets herself get lost in it.   
It's like a dance, she has done it all before and, while the moves are the same, it feels completely” different with a new partner. Anna might be doing a lot of the same things, but she makes Jo feel like she's on fire, she's drowning, she's free-falling. All at once. Everything at once.

 

 

Later on, Jo curls into Anna's side. Anna's arm is under Jo's head, her hand brushes over the skin of the girl's back. Anna's warmth is making Jo sweat a little, beads of perspiration break out where their bodies touch, but she doesn’t move away. She moves closer, in fact, to press her face to Anna's chest. She brushes her hand over the girl's breast, watching as her nipple beads from the touch.

  
“My first meeting with the therapist is tomorrow.” Jo says.  

  
Anna turns her head, chin brushing Jo's hair. “Are you okay?”

  
“I'm nervous.” Jo admits. “I've never seen a therapist before.”

  
“It's nothing to be worried about.” Anna tells her. “What time are you going?”

  
“Twelve.” Jo traces circles on Anna's stomach. “I was thinking... maybe you could come with me?”

  
Anna thinks for a minute. “Yeah, I can come.” She decides finally. 

  
“Cool.” Says Jo, and when Anna smiles down at her, she feels okay. She feels safe. 

 

-o-

 

Turns out, Castiel is a fuckin' roller skating _champ_. On Saturday he takes Dean and Sam to the roller rink in town. It smells like socks and nacho cheese and the music is loud and annoying, but Castiel loves it. He's smooth, graceful, and confident. The complete opposite of Dean, who can barely stay upright. He flounders helplessly around the outside wall while Sam and Castiel zoom around the rink. After a couple of rotations, Castiel comes skating up beside Dean. 

  
“Are you okay?” He wonders.

  
Dean glares at him, and Castiel laughs. He moves in front of Dean and puts the boy's hands up around his neck, then puts his own on Dean's waist. He begins to skate backward slowly, pulling his boyfriend with him. After a moment of terrified flailing, Dean realizes that Castiel isn’t going to let go, and he just lets himself be pulled along.

  
Dean leans close to Castiel, so he can be heard over the music. “How are you so good at this?” He wonders. 

  
“My mom used to take me skating every Sunday when I was little.” Castiel tells him. “Family tradition. And she did roller derby.”

  
“Whoa.” Dean says. “That's so cool.” 

  
Castiel smiles. “Yeah.” He pulls Dean closer, tattooed arms wrapping all the way around Dean's waist, they're chest to chest, moving very slowly. “She would have liked you.” Castiel says, so quietly that Dean almost misses it. Dean wants to know, but he doesn't want to ask. Thankfully, Castiel tells him anyway.   
“Cancer.” He says after a few long moments. “Four years ago.”

  
Dean doesn't say anything, just presses his face into Castiel's chest, hoping the other boy will understand.

  
And then, of course, Sam has to ruin the moment by zooming by and shouting, “Get a room!” at them, before promptly falling flat on his face. Afterward they get room-temperature hot dogs and stale nachos, and it's a wonderful day.

  
“My mom likes you.” Dean tells Castiel later, once they're back at Dean's house, sitting in the living room watching Chopped. 

  
Castiel tilts his head to the left, raising an eyebrow in surprise. “She does?”

  
Dean nods. “She said you're a “very nice young man”.”

  
Castiel snorts. “Okay.”

  
Dean rolls his eyes. “ _I_ think you're nice too.”

  
“Only to you.” Castiel tells him, leaning in to kiss him on the nose. 

  
“And my parents.” 

  
“Well yeah,” Castiel concedes. “I want them to like me.”

  
“And my brother.” Dean adds.

  
Castiel squints at him. “Hmm.”

  
“And my friends.”

  
“What's your point?”

  
Dean crosses his arms over his chest. “You're a nice guy.” He accuses.

  
Castiel sits up straight. “You take that back!” He demands.

  
“Nope, you're a nice guy and now I know it and I’m going to tell _everyone_!”

  
Castiel tackles him into the couch and starts to tickle his sides. “Don't you dare!” He says.

  
Dean is flailing and kicking and laughing and, maybe, shrieking a little, because Castiel is hitting all of his ticklish spots and he doesn’t know how his boyfriend found out about them but it is _not_ fair.

  
“Take it back and I’ll stop tickling you.” Castiel tells him.

  
“Never!” Dean shouts. 

  
But then Castiel leans down and starts blowing raspberries on Dean's neck and it's just too much.

  
“Fine! Fine!” Dean yells. “Ugh, you're a grumpy old man!”

  
Castiel stops tickling him and sits back up. “And don't you forget it.” He says.   
Dean scowls, but then Castiel is peppering his face with kisses and he breaks into a grin. 

 

 

When it happens, they're at Castiel's house, in his room, on his bed. Castiel is laying on top of Dean, in between his legs. They've making out for a while, and Dean is hard in his jeans. Things are going well, and then Castiel's hands start to wander again. They slide down Dean's body, lower than they have before, to rest on his ass. Dean tenses because, despite what Castiel said about thinking he was hot, he's not sure he believes it. 

  
Castiel pulls back to look Dean in the eye. “Hey,” He says, lips shiny and red. “You okay?”

  
Dean nods, but he can feel the blush in his cheeks and he knows he isn't fooling anyone. Castiel brushes a thumb along Dean's lower lip.

  
“Are you still worried 'cause you think you're fat?” He asks.

  
Dean looks away quickly, answering Castiel's question without a word. 

  
“Can I show you something?” Castiel asks.

  
Dean looks back up at him, at his determined expression, and nods. But, whatever he thinks Castiel is going to do, he is _not_ prepared for what happens next. Castiel takes one of Dean's hands and guides it down between them, to press it firmly against his crotch. 

  
Dean's eyes go wide, he can hear his heartbeat pounding loud and fast in his head, because he's touching a dick. Yes, that is most definitely a dick. Castiel's _extremely hard_ erection is in his hand. There's still a layer of dark denim between Dean's palm and Castiel's penis, but it's right there.

  
Castiel leans back down to kiss Dean, slow and deep. “That's all you.” He says once their lips part again. He moves to kiss slowly up Dean's neck. “You get me so hard. And if you don't want to that's fine but... you don't need to worry about what I think. I think you're very _very_ sexy.”

  
Dean closes his eyes, trying to think around the way Castiel is sucking on his ear, the way his erection feels in Dean's hand. 

  
Sexy. No one has ever called him sexy before. It makes him feel... well, nervous, for one, but also just a little bit... powerful? He takes a slow, calming breath, and he squeezes his hand a little. 

  
From his neck, Castiel makes a pleased sound, and Dean does it again, a little harder. When Castiel moves back to look at him again, his eyes are searching. He bites his lip and arches one pierced eyebrow delicately. “You wanna...?”

  
Dean nods. He wants to. He really _really_ wants to. Emboldened by this newest discovery, or maybe lust, perhaps madness, he reaches down and pulls up on the hem of Castiel's shirt.

  
“Take it off.” He says. 

  
Castiel sits up, eyes twinkling, and takes his shirt off in one smooth motion. All of a sudden, Dean understands. He understands love songs, he understands poetry. All of those things he used to think were stupid, they make perfect sense to him. Because if he were a poet he'd write sonnet after sonnet about Castiel until his fingers fell off. The way he looks just now, grinning down at Dean, great black cross tattooed on his muscled chest, he could start wars, Dean thinks. From this moment on, he will always picture Adonis as a man similar to Castiel. 

  
He reaches up to touch with trembling hands, fingers brushing gently over the lines of dark ink, and Castiel closes his eyes and just lets him. After a while he opens his eyes again and he leans down to pull the bottom of Dean's shirt up.   
All of Dean's insecurities return to him in a rush, but he's making an effort and he lets Castiel pull his shirt up over his head and toss it to the side of his head. He kind of expects Castiel to be disappointed, maybe change his mind about this, but he doesn’t. He gazes down at Dean and his eyes are still hungry, he runs his hands over Dean's chest and belly and he smiles, but it isn’t a mean smile. He leans down and he starts kissing all over Dean's chest, over his ticklish ribs and down to his chubby belly. He nuzzles at Dean's belly pudge and the fat on his hips, placing kisses on the cold stretch marks that wiggle over his skin. Castiel keeps going and going and a strange mixture of arousal and fondness builds up under Dean's skin until he feels like he's going to burst, so he tugs at Castiel's hair and brings the boy back up to kiss again. They do, and this time when Castiel's hands go down to cup Dean's ass, he doesn't protest, and when Castiel fumblingly unbuttons Dean's pants, he's not nearly as nervous as he thought he'd be.

  
Castiel helps him slip off his pants, and he's self-conscious about his thighs, but he still has the presence of mind to insist that Castiel take his off too. Castiel laughs and does it easily, somehow managing to be sensual without trying. His legs are muscular too, and it's a little annoying but a lot hot, and he looks wonderful in just his pair of red boxers. Then Castiel is kissing up his thighs, lovingly sucking bruises into the soft flesh. Dean watches him, sweating nervously and trying his hardest to keep his legs from shaking. When he fails, Castiel rubs his thighs soothingly and slips his fingers under the elastic of Dean's underwear and pulls them down and off, they follow the rest of his clothes to the floor. And he's laying there completely naked on Castiel's bed, this is really happening, this is his life. He sits up then, helping Castiel out of his boxers as well and leaning close to run his lips over his boyfriend's torso because he wants to touch too. It's surreal, being allowed to touch someone this beautiful this way, and Dean is going to take as much advantage of it as he possibly can. Apparently he hits some ticklish spots because it's not long before Castiel is laughing and pulling Dean's hands away from him, pinning them up above his head. He kisses Dean, again and again, and then his hand is closing around Dean's erection, stroking gently as he licks into the boy's mouth. He kisses Dean's cheeks, his neck, his shoulders, his chest, and Dean doesn’t realize where he's headed until it's too late and Castiel is licking a stripe up the underside of Dean's dick.

  
Dean gasps, and he can't keeps his hands from going down to grasp Castiel's hair as the other boy slowly licks him all over, then takes him into his mouth. His toes curl, and he closes his eyes tight because he knows if he looks down and _sees_ Castiel sucking him off he'll come already and it'll be embarrassing for everyone. But he wants to look, he wants to see what's happening, because it feels goddamn amazing and, what the hell, he's probably going to come too soon anyway. So he looks, and it's the best mistake he has ever made. Castiel's face is flushed, his hair wild from where Dean's fingers have been clutching at it, his cheeks are hollowed. He gazes up at Dean with lust-darkened eyes, head bobbing slowly up and down. Dean can feel the ball of Castiel's tongue ring pressing coolly to the underside of his dick, hitting spots he didn’t even realize were sensitive. 

  
“Cas,” Dean grunts. “'m gonna come.”

  
The other boy doesn’t pull off though, he closes his eyes and sucks harder, hands gently massaging Dean's thighs on either side of his head. When Dean comes, Castiel takes it all happily, then keeps sucking gently until Dean has to push him away because he's too sensitive.

  
Castiel is grinning when he comes back up Dean's body, kisses his chin. “How'd you like that?” He wonders.

  
Dean swallows. “It was alright.” He says, feigning boredom. 

  
Castiel kisses him on the neck. “You asshole.” He mumbles. 

  
Dean laughs, reaching up to rake his fingers through Castiel's hair. “It was amazing.” He admits.

  
“Hmm,” Castiel hums into his skin. “I'm pretty good.”

  
“You're fantastic.” Dean tells him.

  
Castiel looks down at him, fondness sparkling in his eyes. “ _You're_ fantastic.” He says, leaning down for a kiss.

  
“Wait!” Dean gasps, Castiel's lips a breath away from his own.

  
“What?”

  
“You have dickmouth.” Dean says.

  
“It was _your_ dick!” Castiel protests.

  
Dean just looks up at him sheepishly.

  
“Oh, okay.” Castiel pouts. “I'll be right back.” He gets up slowly, erection still very present between his legs, and walks out of the room. On his way, Dean gets a look at his back for the first time. Wings. He has wings. They're great black shadows stretching from his shoulder blades down to the small of his back, inked masterfully, so detailed they look real. Dean just sits there, dumbfounded, as Castiel leaves the room. 

  
He comes back a couple minutes later, mouth smelling minty fresh. “How's that?” He asks, kissing Dean again.

  
But instead of answering, Dean just stares up at him in awe. “You have _wings_!” He whispers.

  
“Oh, yeah.” Castiel says, like it's no big deal. “They took a long time to get done.”

  
“They're beautiful.” Dean tells him.

  
Castiel smiles. “Thanks.” He says. 

  
He kisses Dean slowly again, and Dean feels his dick bump against his thigh. He reaches down and tentatively takes hold of it, and this is the first time he's ever really touched someone else's dick, skin to skin. It's surprisingly soft, and very warm, not unlike his own. He gives it a slow pull and is rewarded when Castiel's expression stutters above him.

  
“That's right.” Castiel breathes. “Just like that.” He moves, so that his legs bracket Dean's, giving him a better angle, and leans down to suck on the soft skin of Dean's neck.

  
“Doin' so good, sweetheart.” He mumbles as Dean speeds his hand, using what pre-come he can to smooth the way. “Oh, fuck. That's good.”

  
His hips start to move, and he's thrusting slowly into Dean's hand, panting softly into his neck. Sweetheart. It's the first term of endearment Dean has heard him use, and his sends waves of happiness up his spine, his mouth stretches into a wide smile. 

  
It's, surprisingly, not long at all before Castiel's hips are stuttering and he's kissing Dean deeply as he comes onto the boy's hand and stomach. Afterward he sits there, panting, for a minute while Dean looks down at the stripes of come over his hand and belly. It's kind of gross, but it's Castiel's, and it makes him feel good that he caused it. 

  
Castiel yawns and flops down beside him. He kisses Dean on the cheek, presses his nose to the hollow under Dean's ear. “Thanks.” he says after a while.

  
“You did most of the work.” Dean protests. 

  
Castiel smiles and shakes his head, his hand moves down and he's brushing his fingers across the soft inside of Dean's thigh. “You're awesome.”  
Dean huffs, but he doesn't protest further. They lay like that for a while, until Castiel's hand accidentally touches some of the come still pooled on Dean's stomach.

  
“Ew.” Says Castiel.

  
“Yeah.” Dean concedes. “Can I take a shower here?”

  
“Of course!” Castiel assures him. “Just hold on a minute.”

  
He gets up and dashes out of the room, only to come back moments later with a wash rag. They get what they can of the mess off of Dean's belly, then Castiel takes him to the bathroom to show him where the towels and things are. 

They're both just walking around naked and it's weird, Dean feels like he should be more self conscious, but he can't find it in him when Castiel brushes his hand tenderly over the fat on his hips. 

  
The shower is nice, Dean uses Castiel's body wash, reveling in the smell. When he comes back into Castiel's room with just a towel around his hips he finds that his boyfriend has stripped the bed. Dean goes to pick his clothes up off the floor, but they're wrinkled and kind of sweaty and he doesn’t really want to put them back on. Castiel notices, and he gives Dean some of his own clothes to wear, an oversized shirt and an old pair of pants that are a little tight on Dean, but it's okay because they smell like Castiel. After he's dressed Castiel comes up behind him to wind his arms around Dean.

  
“You look cute.” He says, placing a kiss on Dean's temple. 

  
They play Mario Kart for the rest of the day, and Castiel makes Dean a grilled cheese and kisses him until he can't breathe. 

 

 

The next Winchester Family Night, Castiel is there, his arm around Dean. Anna is there too, nervously holding hands with Jo, who is looking, and doing, better. She has better color now, not so pale as she used to be. She's put on a little weight, although it's something she's still struggling with. The therapist, she reluctantly admits, is helping. 

  
Mary is beside herself with happiness, and John is pleased that his family is happy, even if he doesn’t show it as well. Sam complains about all the PDA a lot, pretends to be vomiting a lot, but he likes Castiel and he likes Anna and it's mostly all for show.

And so it ends with a family, growing slowly. It ends with healing. It ends with love.

**Author's Note:**

> My tumblr is [here](https://deanlightful.tumblr.com//)!


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